A Valentine's Adventure

So yesterday was quite an adventure. After school, I had to rush to the OB/GYN for my first-ever appoinment. It was uncomfortable and I was so nervous that my heart was racing fast enough for the nurse practicioner to comment on it. Long story short, I'm now taking birth control pills and praying that the possible negative side effects won't affect me. I really don't want to spend the next 1-3 months feeling nauseated. Blech.

I then made abee-line for Matt's office, because I was supposed to donate blood. Unfortunately, my hour-long wait at the doctor's office ate up the time that I was planning to spend at the donor center, so I got there after they'd closed. So I sat in my car and waited for the staff meeting to be over. When it was, Matt came out of the building carrying a vase full of pearly pink roses and clouds of baby's breath. He looked so proud of himself and it was so cute! He also gave me a giftcard to Barnes and Noble because he wants to be able to spend time doing something that I really enjoy doing with me. (During a discussion on a part of the book we're reading for pre-marital counselling that talked about  how a man needs a woman to be his recreational companion and that they should accomplish this by finding activities they both enjoy, I had said something about how he's accepted the fact that I'm not ever really going to enjoy hockey games, just like he won't ever enjoy laying in bed and reading together.) I guess this means I need to get tickets to a hockey game... :-)

We spent the rest of the evening with our Bible Study group. We had so much fun playing the "Two Truths, One Lie" game, regaling each other with embarrassing stories (most involved pooping, peeing or belching at an inappropriate time) and playing Mafia.

All in all, it was a very nice Valentine's Day.

Forgiveness? No, thank you.

Is there ever a perfect time to be engaged and plan your wedding? I thought that now was a pretty perfect time for Matt and me. And it was. For about 4 months. And then a bomb dropped.

Please don't misunderstand, I still love Matt more than I've ever loved anyone, and I am still beyond excited to be planning the beginning of our life together, but some family issues (his) have come to light and trying to deal with them is proving to be difficult.

How do you handle a family member, who also claims to be a fellow believer in Christ, who does something extremely hurtful? How do you handle it when their deed is made known and not only do they refuse to take responsibility for the action, but also refuse to stop doing it or apologize for the pain they've caused? Normally, I have no patience with this type of person. I have no patience for someone who lies about something of which they've already been PROVEN guilty. My instinct here is to completely avoid this person. I never want to even see them again. My instinct is to be MAD, and when I get MAD, I can get vicious. I've been thinking all sorts of mean, ugly things about this person.

But the biggest problem is that the love of my life still loves this person who has made me so MAD. Don't get me wrong, Matt is probably more hurt, angry and confused than I am, but because he has a strong family tie to this person, the love he has for them acts as a buffer for the bad feelings and softens them. I, on the other hand, have no ties to this person whatsoever, so my anger and viciousness have no buffer, I feel like I have no reason not to strongly dislike this person. So the hateful feelings spewing out of my heart are hurting my fiance. And when I realized this, I got even angrier at this person because they have now driven a wedge between Matt and I, because I can't tell him how I'm feeling about all of this because it causes him pain when I do.

This is our first experience with dealing with something big as a couple. And we're finding out just how different we are. At least in this situation. The way he is dealing with it is not the way I'm dealing with it (if I can even call getting angrier and angrier dealing with it). I'm not sure how we can come together in this. I want to be supportive for him. I want to help him through this. But I am so angry right now, that if I was able to confront this person (which I can't, because I'm not a member of the family), I would be tempted toward some serious verbal abuse. So I guess it's a good thing that I can't confront them, since I would probably say something that I might regret later. 

*Sigh*

I understand making mistakes. Really, I do. I make them ALL of the time. I know that no one is perfect. So I'm not judging this family member for their actions. I understand that life is hard and that we are sinners. I get it. I even understand being seriously ashamed and embarrassed when someone else calls you out for sin in your life. I know what it feels like to be angry with the person who dared point out the sin in my life. I really do understand. But that doesn't mean that I am not affected by the choices those who live their lives in proximity to mine make. And when the poor choice that someone else makes has an adverse affect on my life, and that person shows no remorse at all, and in fact, continues to act in a way that is arrogant, selfish and just downright mean, I have no pity for them, no matter how miserable they say that they are.

When Jesus was on the cross, He cried out to God, asking Him to "forgive them, for they know not what they do." He prayed forgiveness on the very men who condemned Him to death and crucified Him. They did not know that they were murdering the Son of God. I think this means that I also should forgive this person who is hurting me. But I'm pretty sure that this person is fully aware of what they are doing and is still choosing to do it, knowing full well the effects of their actions. So do I still have to forgive before this person has repented and asked for forgiveness? 

Because I don't want to forgive them.

And if I don't, I will be hurting those around me. Which makes me want to say, "Thanks for making me hurt the ones I love. It wasn't enough for you to screw things up in your own life, now you've caused me to stumble too. Way to go. I think you deserve a trophy."

But I know that's not right. And I'm ashamed of myself for thinking it. But that doesn't stop me from thinking it.

And until I stop thinking it, things won't be right in my own heart.

Oh, Father God, help me please.

Something to Smile About

I've been confined to the house yet again today. For the most part. We did get out for a couple of hours to go to the video store and Walmart and then we tried to go to Chickfila. We sat at the drive thru menu thing for about a minute and no one said, "Hello" or anything. So we drove around to the window and, SUPRISE: they were closed. So we went to McDonald's instead. I took some pictures of the snow, but then I accidently washed my memory card in my jean pocket, so I'm not sure that I still have them. I'll let you know after it's had some time to dry out. Until then, I found this picture of a hamster. I hope it makes you smile.



Snowed In

Today marks day 3 of the Winter Weather Extravaganza here in good ole North Texas. We've been iced in since Tuesday and the forecast is calling for snow.

...

What's going on??? I've lived in Texas my whole life. I've only seen it REALLY snow like, twice. I've only had to drive on ice a handful of times. I've NEVER seen school be closed for more than two days at a time. This is like living in the Twilight Zone.

Or maybe the TwilICE Zone.

Haha.

No, please don't go. I promise, no more corny jokes. It's just the cabin fever talking. I hope it's going well for all of you out there in bloggerville! Stay warm and dry!

~Allie~ 

Pictures!!!

Hello everyone! It's been a week since I last blogged. I was so excited about cooking last week that it was all I really thought about and I didn't want to bore y'all with constant talk about food. So here I am, a week later, with pictures of everything I cooked this week.

Tuesday: Salmon Croquettes with Baked Asparagus and Angel Hair Pasta in Herb Sauce

With this, I discovered that trying to cook in oil on an electric stove in a nonstick pan is not a good idea... But it turned out really well. The sauce on the asparagus is a mix of balsamic vinegar, soy sauce and butter.



Wednesday: Beef Stroganoff

I made this in the crockpot and served it over wide egg noodles. The recipe called for cream cheese to be stirred in before serving. I think next time, I'm going to use sour cream.

Thursday: Swiss Chicken Casserole

Another crockpot meal. SO GOOD! I got the recipe from a friend, and I will definitely be making this again.

I made this on Thursday, too. My fiance had a long day at work, so I surprised him with his favorite: butter cake with chocolate icing.

Friday, we had leftovers Well... I had leftovers, Matt had hot dogs grilled on the George Foreman Grill. They smelled really good, but since I had so much leftover from the week, I wanted to eat it before it went to waste.

Saturday morning, I got up and made scrambled eggs with sliced olives and cheese, bacon and toast. As you can see, I was hungry and took a bite out of the toast before I remembered to take the picture. I also discovered that the four and 3.5 settings on my toaster severely burn bread.

Yikes!

So that's my week in the kitchen! I've got a plan for this week, but with the ice junk that has recently come to town, I can't get to the store, and I'm not sure it would be very wise to even try to drive home until the temperature rises above freezing. Just in case though, here's my plan, and I will be posting pictures of anything I cook this week. If you want any of my recipes, just ask: I'm more than willing to share!

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