Thursday, January 20, 2011

Verdict? Guilty

An interesting thing has happened to me in the last few weeks. I've begun reading my Bible almost every day, following a reading plan that my Bible study group is doing. It's been longer than I'd care to admit since I've read my Bible on a daily basis, so I am really excited with the consistency I've so far achieved. I know it's gotta be God making this important to me. And I love knowing that He is enabling me to do what He's called me to do.

But that's not the thing that gets me the most. To tell you what that is, I've got to tell you what happened last Wednesday night at praise team practice.

Basically, I got into an arguement with one of the other ladies on the team. We argued about who was right about a certain part of a song and when I didn't agree with her she said, "Well, Allison, I guess you just know everything," and turned away from me. I knew I should've let it go, but I let my temper take over and I sarcastically replied, "Yeah, I do. Thanks for noticing." This led to more unpleasantness on the part of both parties and I left church that night feeling angry and insulted.

Trying to sleep that night, I kept replaying the argument over in my head, trying to convince myself that I was right. During the next few days, I managed to keep the incident out of my head while I was out in public with other people, but at home, or when I was trying to read my Bible, I kept going back to this spat I'd had with a sister in Christ. I couldn't concentrate on what I was reading, and I kept thinking about how I could've avoided the whole mess if I'd just squashed my pride and quietly thanked her for her advice and then even more quietly, ignored it. Instead, I chose to lash out and be rude and disrespectful. And I was feeling convicted about it!!!

It may seem strange to be excited about conviction, but that conviction is a sign of life! It's a sign that God is working in my heart to mold me into the woman that He has called me to be! And even though I had to swallow my pride and go to my fellow team member and tell her that I was sorry I'd disrespected her, I rejoiced! I realized that, in doing so, I was overcoming my own selfish nature and following Christ.

How cool to see conviction in such a positive light. Yay, God! :-D

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